[AQ] Pen Pals! [Felix/Yasuko]

[Felix]

Yasuko Kobayashi

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{Pen Pals!}+ Description: The student council has set up an exchange of anonymous letters with another student on your thoughts about dreams and passion, intended to get students to cheer each other on and help each other out! Write one yourself, or recruit some friends to write along with you.
+ Write about dreams and passion: +1 Guardians, +1 Faberge, -1 Roost
+ Write about finding your own path: +2 Roost, -1 Guardians
+ Write that it’s pointless to dream: -1 Guardians, -1 Roost, -2 Faberge
+ Requirements: None
+ Submitted by Hatta

---

At the time, Felix hadn't really known what to write as he sat at his desk in Katsumi's apartment. It was supposed to be an in-school type of 'pen-pals' thing but he almost felt a little embarrassed writing out his feelings on paper... even if it was anonymous. He had even been made fun of for writing in journals in the past... even then made fun of for what he wrote! Thinking of those past events made him grow even more tense about doing this, but getting a nagging feeling in his head he glanced over at his little sleeping guardian Isaac. He was here to help him... and he wanted Felix to be more honest so... as uncertain as he was, he put his pen to paper; he figured at least to put some thoughts down and see where it went.

Nobody was going to find out.

He practically chanted this mantra in his head to calm himself and then he took a deep breath; eventually he had started to move his hand,

Hello, who ever is going to be reading this,

...That was a bad start but oh well I guess...? Don't you think that dreams and passion are a little too open for ideas for anonymous letters? I'm having trouble just trying to come up with something to write about! Argh! 

Maybe this was a little too silly? He shrugged it off and continued to write his nonsense,

Anyways... I think I have something now : ) . My last year was really, really scary and I had wanted to make an improvement this year but so far everybody seems so distracted it's been so hard to make friends... I mean I have a friend but I would so love if I could talk to somebody I could better relate to, he's kinda mean and teases me a lot... I really just wanted to have a person to talk about... real feelings, you know? That is definitely my dream right now, ehe. Sorry if it seems a little stupid : ( 

Felix tried to write everything as neatly as possible, he didn't know where it was going or if he was going to get one back so he had to make a good impression! At least this time around, he didn't want to make more bad impressions. Not anymore.

If there is anything else I would want is to be more connected to my sports teams! I really love the clubs I'm in but I would love to be invited to extra things they go to or the study groups (even though I don't really like studying, haha). I feel like we could play even better if we all got to hang out more... or maybe that isn't so great of an idea anymore...

Just mentioning that line made him a little upset but he needed to stop being so afraid of himself!

But uh, thank you for listening even if you don't respond mr/mrs anon! It means a lot to me : ) . If you do respond, I would love to hear about your dreams and passions, too!


Or anything you would like to talk about really.


Sincerely,
Feli <3

Felix hadn't really thought about how girly his message seemed when he had wrote it all out, but it seemed okay to him so he wanted to get it out of his hands before he decided against it entirely. With that he put the letter in a plain spare envelope, tenderly caring for it as he packed it up for school the next day.


        

[Yasuko Kobayashi]

"A letter for you Kobayashi-san."

Yasuko blinked, staring at the outstretched hand of a Student Council member that was waiting for her to do something. And stared. There was very clearly a white envelope in his hand. And it could only indicate one thing - that it was from the Pen-Pal programme that the council was doing. She frowned. Was her name still on the list of recipients? She had done this about three or four times already she was sure, but with how much harder schoolwork was becoming as they neared the end of the year, she was sure the programme would have died out already.

Not to mention what had happened recently...

"Kobayashi-san?"

"Ah um--" she suddenly began, startled she was out of her reverie. The student in front of her had simply raised his eyebrow, waving the letter in front of her as if prompting her to take it. She stared at it for a moment - before she finally gave a defeated shrug and immediately pulled it from his hands.

If anything, maybe this could serve as a distraction.

---

As the bell rang for the end of school, Yasuko was already quickly packing her stuff into her bag and making her way towards the library. To be honest, it felt...strange of sorts to have a purpose - was this how she usually felt? Quickly rushing from one place to another to get things done? It was a familiar feeling, yet...also oddly foreign. Like it used to belong to another life.

Ah.

She sat down on one of the empty chairs, and slowly took out her pencilbox and her spare notebook. And finally, the letter itself. She stared at the while envelope in her hands, turning it over to the back, where the seal was - yet she didn't make a move to open it. She hadn't a clue to where this letter came from, and neither did she know if she wanted to read it yet. What if it was from someone who didn't take the whole thing seriously? What if it was just a prank? What if she just opened it and there was nothing inside but a blank sheet?

She stared at the letter in her hand.

And took a deep breath.

And peeled it open.

And was taken back by the neat handwriting of it all.

Oh. She blinked, as she simply stared at the writing itself. She hadn't expected this level of care. Granted, all of her letters so far had seemed to be given to students who...perhaps had a disposition for careless writing, but that simply made this letter all the more surprising. Placing it down on the table, she smoothed the edges out, so that she could read it a little better.

Wow this person seems rather nice, was the first thought in her head. She couldn't help but crack a little smile at the latter part of the letter. At any other time, she probably would have raise an eyebrow at the anonymous student's seemingly shy disposition, but now, there was something...endearing about it.

It reminded her of a regular high school student, just worrying about normal student life.

She picked up her pencil.

Hello Feli,

It's nice to meet you. I suppose you do have a bit of a point though; dreams and passions is a rather broad topic - I mean somebody could start talking about being an avid bug collector, or go into space to meet aliens or something. 

Did she make a joke? Perhaps Calli had been rubbing off on her a lot more than she realised.

But her pencil stopped at the letter's next paragraph. She frowned a little. 

I see. I don't know about your friend very well but I'm not sure if that's the best kind of relationship to have. I mean, a friend should be somebody that you feel comfortable to talk to I suppose? But then again, I'll be honest that I do not know how to talk about friends.

Yasuko had no clue how to advise about friends. Most of the time, she barely kept the friends she met, for she always pushed them away with her talk about goals and academics and career options - and have more than once lost friendships due to her stubborn opinionated self. But she suddenly paused.

Did she have friends here?

It was a question she rarely asked herself, for she usually buried herself under piles of work to forget about something as 'trivial' as friendships. But now, with the letter in front of her, it made her end up confronting a very important question that she usually avoided trying to answer. Friends.

If she didn't have friends, then who exactly were the people that were around her?

Were they friends, or not?

There was a hesitation in her movements, as she pulled the pencil away from the notepad. But as she stared at the word 'friends' on paper, a flicker of realisation soon appeared in her eyes. About something that she hadn't wanted to ponder on since the beginning of the year. There was something warm about it...and yet something regretful about it too.

She placed the graphite lead onto paper once again.

But it isn't a bad dream to have. Neither it is a silly dream. To want to have friends that you can talk to, that you can pour your real feelings out to. It's something all of us want to have - and perhaps it was something I didn't appreciate until recently. Good friends are hard to come by, friends that accept you for all that you are, and friends that allow you to be who you are even in your darkest moments. Even if you aren't the best person right then.

Was she being too honest? But it was the truth. And perhaps she needed to write that down more than anything.

But I'm sure you'll find them. This school seemed to be full of them.

If all else fails well...I suppose you could consider me as one. Even though you do not know my name or how I look. 

Was it strange to offer something like this? It was certainly odd for her - yet it felt like the right thing to do.

But she paused once again at the mention of dreams. Dreams and passion...something which she thought she had an answer for. Something which she had always strived towards since she was old enough to make goals for herself. Something that she rarely wavered.

But now, the dream felt so...unreachable. Or rather, it felt like it belonged to someone else now.

My dream is simple. Or at least, I thought it was. I wanted to be a writer. To be able to publish a series of books once day and have it read by everybody in the world. But I guess I haven't been feeling it much lately. 

She shook her head. She shouldn't sound so miserable on the first letter.

I'll like to feel the passion for it again though. To write stories as I used to. To write about the people within it and the relationships that they all have. Friendships or enemies or the whole 'frienemies' thing some people have. It's funny.

But I shouldn't be filling this up just about me. Perhaps you can tell me about your classes or something? I'll love to hear how different they are.

Sincerely,
Muse

She stared at the notepad in front of her, the mechanical pencil down on the side as she re-read the whole thing. It was...perhaps a far more honest letter than she had initially planned to write. Yet somehow, a part of her didn't want to change any of the words. It was rare for her to write a letter that was more from the heart - and now that she had, she didn't want to throw it away.

She pulled out a spare piece of white printer paper and began to copy all the words in black ink. Sealing it into a white envelope, and writing out a neat Feli on top of it. Quickly, she packed her bags once again, and as she passed by the Student Council's office, gently slipped it into the metal container right outside the room.

Hopefully it would make its way safely to the recipient.

She turned on her heel for the dorms.

[Felix]

It was safe to say that Felix was way too excited to read the letter he received during homeroom. He thought he wouldn't have gotten a letter at all so seeing one get handed him filled him with utter joy through the rest of the day. Felix had wanted to read it during a class he was slacking in or during lunch but Katsumi tore his spar time away from him; it wasn't like it was unwanted attention, but the brunette was so distracted by wanting to open that letter that Katsumi had shocked him a couple times way easier then it would have been normally.

"Arggg, I just want to go home already!"

"As we all do, White, now answer equation B." The teacher caught him completely off guard from his outburst in the middle of class,

"Oh darn, did I say that out loud?" Felix nervously scratched the back of his head and laughed as the other students had giggled at him quietly. Ah, would he ever get free of his class clown-like nature? As he struggled to answer the math question, his teacher scolded him and then the lesson went on as normal. That definitely toned down his mood a little bit for the moment but after looking down at the letter in his bag he subconsciously smiled:

That letter was for him! A real letter! How ever could he be disappointed right now?

Hopes high and mood soaring once again from seemingly nothing, he anticipated finally going home.

---

Removing his helmet and placing it on its spot on the hanger, he was home and headed immediately to his room. He still had chores he had to do and such but he would do it after writing for sure!... or at least hopefully, ehe. Practically tearing open his messenger bag he brought out the well handled letter with exuberance and looked over his nickname and with a smile before he opened it, trying not to rip the actual letter.

After he unfolded the paper, his eyes scanned well written page as a whole before really tuning into the words.

Felix almost found himself crying to the letter he was written, it was so nice to have somebody give him real advice and really care about what he said, "This was so worth it..." Quietly to himself, he mumbled happily. Before reading the last bit he reached into his bag once more and took out his trusty pen and another lined piece of paper to write on like he had before; his brain was filling with ideas already.

He felt empathy for his precious pen-pal's struggle with their writing, he would have to give them some support! Dreams needed to stay strong and he wanted them to stay ambitious and hopeful, how else would that dream stay alive? Now passionate and full of writing courage, Felix struck his pen to paper, ready to write to his Muse...

To my Muse,

It's nice meeting you, too; I didn't even greet you, I'm so sorry! : 000 And yes I suppose they could, heheh, but it wouldn't make these letters any less interesting if you were secretly one of those things yourself!

It was a big of a silly start up but Felix found that joke cute, he loved it. He thought a bit more seriously about the next topic in hand... it wasn't like he disliked his friend Katsumi, he was just... hard to talk to.

Aww, I didn't mean to make him off as a bad person he just likes me in his own way I guess... It's not terrible and hes a nice guy under all tough, mean guy personality; he just takes some time to get used to. I wish he would be able to make some more friends too, but hes had it a lot worse then me so I try to be there for him when I can. I just wish he would let me into his brain a little bit, you know what I mean?

To continue along with that, yeah, I definitely agree! I wish that people didn't have to feel like they had to hide all their inner feelings and thoughts either. I recently discovered that and appreciating good friends as well; it seems like I didn't have any real ones till my friend now and well... you know how he treats me already, heh... But yes! I definitely think of you as a friend despite being completely anonymous. It comforts me to know that you are in the school with me so I know I always have a friend nearby : )

Felix sighed and leaned back in his chair to read over his shockingly heartfelt message. Or maybe it wasn't that shocking to him. He was an open person when push came to shove and it did not take that much to push him to talk. He already knew himself that he was a bit of an obnoxious and rude guy sometimes but he felt like he didn't deserve that... mess that happened to him before his second year.

It was heartbreaking.

Before he knew it, he was writing once more.

Thank you for the inspiring words! I will try hard to look for those people and I want you to find them too; please don't be afraid to talk to people, who knows, it could even be me!

Also, a little late but, please never give up on your dream to write!! Dreams are all we have and we should treasure them deeply; it's your passion and you love it so I hope you can get the feeling back. I know that
I'm starting to get mine back so please know it's not impossible! Also sorry for the long letter, I just can't seem to find myself to stop writing... 

My classes are pretty average but they have their moments, usually I fall asleep in class because of all the things I do for the sports clubs I'm in, but I mean today I burst out in class by accident because I was so excited to read your letter! Silly right? No need to worry about talking about yourself, I mean I did just write this all so I hope it's not too awful to read... 

He sighed at himself for rambling.

Anyways I'm sorry, I hope when you read this you don't get too bored; Try to have a nice day/afternoon/night : )


Sincerely,
Feli <3 

By the time he finished writing, Katsumi was already calling him about the chores so he quickly packed up the letter and prepared it for the next day.

[Yasuko Kobayashi]

Yasuko wasn't sure what to feel about the pen-pal letter exchange with the new anonymous writer. On one hand, there was something particular normal about it all - penning a letter to a person that you didn't know too well and getting to know each other through the usage of words. But on the other, there was a part of her that felt anxious; a little apprehensive, for she had been a tad bit too honest on her reply. The fist-year couldn't help but feel a nervousness at the pit of her stomach, as each day passed by

Had she poured out more than she was supposed to?

Was she supposed to keep the letter exchange on a more light-hearted note?

What if the other felt suffocated by her own worries?

She shook her head and sighed. She was overthinking it, wasn't she?

---

The arrival of the new letter surprised her.

She stared at the envelope in her hand, blinking, turning the letter around slowly in disbelief. Even though the student council member had handed it to her personally and checked that she was its recipient, she still couldn't believe the papery smooth feeling of a letter in her hands. It was certainly a letter. And it was certainly addressed to her.

Somehow, this letter felt different.

Quickly, as soon as the bell rang for the end of class, she packed all of her things and headed straight for the library. Plopping the bag into the nearest empty seat, she pulled the letter out of her bag and gently tore the envelope open. Her fingers slipped in between the folds, allowing her to smooth it out so as to read it properly.

What did the other think of her response...?

To my Muse,

She stared at those words. And blinked. And began to gave a bit of a chuckle. On any other day, the endearing note in the other's words would have annoyed her, but for some reason, she had found it incredibly amusing. In fact, the more she read the letter's introduction, the more it made her smile. To my Muse, huh? Perhaps said anonymous pen-pal was an affectionate person of some sort.

She pulled out a spare notepad to write her reply

To Feli,

I'll be honest that your first paragraph made me laugh a little. In a good way that is. I'm afraid that I will have to disappoint you this time around, for my hobbies aren't exactly 'strange' per say. Perhaps in your next pen-pal exchange letter, you might find someone of the sort?

What was she doing, continuing the joke? For some reason, it didn't seem to bother her as much as it would in the past. And perhaps she didn't really quite care. After all, it was a simple harmless little thing.

As she continued reading the letter, she frowned a little, pausing as she lifted the pencil up from the notepad. A mean tough guy outer personality, but is actually a nice person underneath. Was that something she could believe? Or was it possible that the outer personality was truly a way for the friend to push people away, so as not to allow others to see his vulnerabilities? It sounded like such, from the way Feli described it.

What...should she say here?

I see. I don't know your friend very well, but if that is what you believe he is, then I will simply have to take your word for it. As long as he isn't too overbearing and you aren't letting him take advantage of you, I suppose that is fine. But, I suppose I can understand why you wish to understand him more. He does sound like a bit of a complicated guy. Perhaps one day he could open up to you more.

Hear hear. I certainly would prefer if people were more honest with their feelings and their thoughts. Even if said feelings and thoughts may cause some kind of conflict, I'll rather people say their true feelings, rather than hide it all. It makes conversations easier and relationships easier. If anything at least you do not have to guess someone's intentions or be afraid of overstepping on their toes in some way. If that makes sense.

I'm glad that you have found friends that you can confide in. They are hard to find but, like I have mentioned in my previous letter, for some reason there's an abundance of good people in this school. Or perhaps I'm just biased. I admit though, that I'd like to think of it in that way at least, even if it may be a bit naive.

She couldn't help but smile a little at the last sentence of the third paragraph. A friend huh? Well, she did offer, but something about it made her just a bit happy. Or something like that. Still, when had she been so positive about people and about friends? She didn't really know. Or maybe...maybe it had all to do with the people that had been supporting her for so long. When she was down and in despair, and when she was lost - there had always been people who pulled her out of her. Stayed with her even if she was frustrating to deal with. Even when she didn't know what she was doing. They were always there.

But the pen-pal's next words surprised her. She paused, staring, blinking at those words, before a soft expression fell onto her face. Was the student...encouraging her? It felt...nice. Strange, for neither of them knew each other well, but it was nice. In fact, nice couldn't even describe it. She began to write once more.

Thank you. It's really nice of you to say that. I'll be honest, although I don't feel as much passion for my dream as of now, a part of me doesn't want to give it up yet. I really want to keep writing and making stories. Maybe this time it is just a lull in my passion; and maybe one day it will return to me in full force that I will simply want to keep writing all day long. Perhaps there is, in some way, hope for me after all. In a cheesy sort of sense.

Perhaps those were the words I needed to hear right now.

The student's next words however, made her laugh a little.

I cannot believe that you burst out of class like that. I supposed you were just really excited huh? I hope you didn't get in trouble with the teacher though. Can't have them confiscate our letters now just because you ran out of class too fast. In fact, I hope you don't get into too much trouble with the teachers; I'm not sure if they like students falling asleep in class. You sound like you do a lot of sports though; what kind do you do? I admit I'm not much of a sports person myself, I'm more of an indoor person.

She paused at his words.

Don't worry about writing too long. In fact, you don't have to keep apologising for it. I don't mind. Even if you might think it trivial, it has been a joy to read about it all. After all, it's nice to just talk about all the little things in life, don't you think so? And if anything, I've been surrounded by thick books my whole life, so reading a long letter is nothing for me.

Was that an attempt at reassurance? Or perhaps a bit of a joke too?

Re-reading the letter, she checked and double-checked for any mistakes, before she finally pulled out a white sheet of paper. Slowly, she transferred her words onto it, using black ink, signing at the end;

Sincerely, your Muse.

Satisfied, she folded up the letter neatly, and slipped it into a spare white envelope. As she walked out of the library, she deposited the letter at the student council, before she began her walk home.